Candace pops in a coffee pod in the single-cup coffee maker. While waiting for her coffee, she looks around and sees two co-workers talking and laughing. Snatches of their conversation float her way, with the words “donuts” and “reception area” catching her attention. It’s customary at work for leftover food from a meeting to be set out by the lobby for anyone to partake. She thinks how timely to grab some donuts to drink along with her freshly brewed beverage. She ventures over to the waiting area and greets Inez, the receptionist, with a smile.
“Ooh, I see a big box of donuts,” Candace says, as she walks toward the food and lifts open the donut box. She picks the only Boston Creme donut in the bunch, bites into it and places it on a paper plate. She decides to take two more donuts, a glazed one and a coconut-flaked beauty. As she polishes off one of them and starts on another, she sees a group of senior buyers filing in the reception area with Lauren, a marketing executive, speaking loudly, “Welcome to our office. I’m glad you enjoyed the quick tour. We have breakfast for you here . . .”
While swallowing, Candace realizes the donuts were not officially leftovers yet. Her eagerness to dunk a donut in her coffee had blinded her from noticing the overall untouched state of the spread. Suddenly, she wishes she would disappear like the donuts she just downed.
Louisa glances at the time on her computer. A quarter of an hour before meeting with the company president! Quickly, she takes her purse and suit jacket, stopping by the restroom to freshen up. She gives herself a once-over at the waist-length mirror. Her self-inspection halts at the perspiration soaking through the sides of her blouse. She rushes to rub her armpits with a paper towel. A vision of sweat seeping through her thin, light-colored suit jacket concerns her. Just then her eyes land on a mini-vending machine for sanitary pads.
With growing annoyance, she tries to attach the sticky side of the panty liner on the slippery lining of her suit jacket’s armhole. She’ll just clamp her armpits down on the makeshift sweat shields. She heads out to meet with the president.
The meeting begins without a hitch and some people come in to join them. As the meeting continues to go well, Louisa finds herself relaxing and enjoying the group. Toward the end, the tone starts to lighten up. They start getting up, sharing anecdotes, with one trying to be funnier than the other. Caught up with the others showing off their wit, Louisa thinks of a perfect tale. She makes grand gestures as she tries to impress her audience. Immediately, she realizes her mistake. One panty liner lands on the floor, while the other barely clings on to her skirt. This will be one story everyone will be talking about in the next meeting.
Awakened by a full bladder, Lola scrambles out of bed when she realizes her alarm clock didn’t go off. She has a meeting to facilitate at the federal building and not much time to spend showering off her sleepiness. After barely toweling herself dry, Lola grabs what she thought was a pair of underwear but sees now it’s a pair of tights. Immediately, she pulls out a skirt suit and a blouse from her closet and puts them on. She then dons the pair of tights. As she takes a step, she feels the garter of her tights slip. Thinking quickly, Lola cinches a leather belt around her skirt to help hold up her tights. Proud of her simple solution, Lola dashes out.
As soon as Lola reached her building, she goes inside and is alarmed to find a line of people of starting to form. Then she remembers the security to enter the upper floors uses X-ray machines like those found at the airport. Soon it is her turn. Hurriedly, she places her purse, jacket, and briefcase in the bin on a carousel. She then walks between the sensor poles, which beeps.
“You have to take off your belt, ma’am,” the security officer extends his hand out to take the belt from her.
Conscious only of the time, Lola unbuckles her belt and gives it to the security staff.
As she steps forward, Lola is aghast at how quickly her tight schedule and loose tights lead to her downfall—right down to her ankles. No X-ray machines required.
Hide well that tonic and gin,
Aim your toenail clippings into the bin;
Just another Monday mourning,
Before the day’s over, I’ll be snoring.
The meeting adjourned and the people started getting up to leave the Boardroom. As Sarah rounded the table, heading toward the door, she saw the CEO, who had just gotten up from the table, walk toward her.
“What do you think of the new way to approach our target market?” The CEO asked as he neared her. Sarah walked back toward the table as he moved in closer, extending his right arm. At first anticipating a handshake, which never appeared, as Sarah drew closer to the CEO she then figured he intended to hug her. Not really knowing what to do and hoping to avoid any personal display of office emotion, she reached out first to deflect his extended arm, wrapping her left arm around the CEO’s waist in the process. Then she lightly patted his back. Suddenly she saw from her peripheral vision that he had been reaching over to push the chair that was near her back under the table. So much for the hug.
Subtly stepping back from the CEO, Sarah enthusiastically voiced her thoughts about the meeting. Then she asked some questions, hoping he would fail to notice, or forget, that she had nearly embraced him. Toward finishing their brief conversation, Sarah reiterated her excitement about the business strategic changes, as she subconsciously weighed the importance of making some changes of her own–like being more aware of her blind spots.
Touch not your fellow co-workers,
Serve well both internal and external stakeholders.
Shred all confidential information,
Lock your computer when going to the john.
Stifle your yawn at meetings,
Imbibe lightly during business gatherings,
Be discreet if you must ask,
“Has anyone seen my flask?”
Maintain a paper-free environment and don’t be dour,
Avoid socializing and merriment until after hours.
Be polite when you ask,
“May I please go home when I finish this task?”
Solve a problem now?
Late afternoon humdinger
Just before closing.
5 ‘til 5 P.M.,
Weekend about to begin;
Leave it for Monday.
Why am I still here?
Should have left right after lunch;
I woke up too late.