The Ugly Sweater Chronicles: Ripped Off

[A trilogy of “seamy” stories about the lure of ugly sweaters; 1 of 3]

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

The air is full of excitement. Tomorrow is Ugly Sweater Day and everyone is looking forward to it. People are staying longer in the water dispenser talking about their sweaters.

“My sweater has one big boob on one side, covered with a green pom-pom. Beat that!”

“Yah, that’s ugly. But mine has the body of a penguin on the front, right under the neckline.”

Snatches of conversation followed by guffaws can be heard in every corner. Darren sits at his desk, working, but obsessing on how he still doesn’t have an ugly sweater to wear for the big day. He went to Target over the weekend but the prices for ugly sweaters had been hiked. He’s not about to spend $35 for a sweater he wouldn’t wear more than once a year. Then, he remembers the discount department store at an outdoor shopping mall, which is a 15-minute walk from his office park.

When lunchtime approaches, Darren hurriedly heads over to the mall. He is forced to walk because his car is at the garage and not available until tomorrow. As much as he dislikes treading over roads with no sidewalks, he hates it even more if he doesn’t have an ugly sweater to wear the next day.

Having successfully reached the store, Darren goes to the clearance rack. He pumps his fist up in the air when he finds what he considers the ideal. After paying for it, he practically runs outside to get moving. The walk feels long because he has to retrace the terrible route that got him here. He clutches his bag as he tries to avoid being run down.

Suddenly, he’s knocked off his feet and lands on the small strip of dirt, off by the roadside. Did he get hit by a car? He feels as if he’s been punched in the back. What was it? As he raises his head, he sees two feet running off. He realizes that he’s been pushed. He feels around for his bag and sees it’s been stolen. Close to tears, he gets up, dusts himself off, and heads back to the mall. Tomorrow he will wear an ugly sweater, come hell or high water.

Urge (a movie blurt)

A horror thriller movie with an interesting twist to it. The movie title is the name of a designer drug that makes the user feel uninhibited. The catch is this “ideal” drug can only be taken one time ever, or there are consequences. The man with everything buys this drug for himself and his friends to rewind for the weekend. But, you guessed it, the spoiled brats just don’t know the meaning of self-control. Pierce Brosnan stars as the Man, who introduces this dangerous pharmaceutical.

Ham Hocked

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

Everyone in the office was in a flurry. They all received the same white envelope with a blue seal.

“I can’t believe they’re going to do away with our tradition,” Dora says to Mary, whose office desk is just inches away from hers.

“You must admit that they were kind enough to give us advance notice so we can start saving for our holiday dinner now.” Mary waves the letter from their company’s President, copied to Human Resources and their holiday ham supplier, “Ham Hocks ‘r You, Me, and Us, LLC”.

Dora sighs as she rereads the letter to Mary:

Dear Valued Employee,

 As our company is known to be charitable and humanitarian minded, we will be donating on your behalf the holiday ham to those more in need. I am sure you feel the same as I that this is for a good cause. To save up to purchase your ham for yourselves this holiday, see HR to have additional deductions made from your paycheck.

 In keeping with the giving spirit, your holiday bonus will be donated to the company’s annual holiday party. We can all look forward to this year’s buffet spread including two meat choices of roast and ham, plus two desserts. As a bonus, two more raffle items can be added to our usual three door prizes.

 I look forward to seeing you all at the holiday party.

 Holiday wishes,

 Brent Grimbsy
President, CEO, MBA, BSC, NBC, DeET, LDA, MlPH

Demon Eyes

Join the express to the dark side of your mind . . .

SlasherMonster

demoneyesvortexcard

Window to abyss

Visions of depravity,

Blinding evilness.

(Karina Pinella)


You cannot see me.

Burning perpetual stare.

I don’t need to blink.

(FlyTrapMan)


Look into my soul.

See the dark; it fills a hole.

Emptiness that’s full.

(Poet Rummager)


Adjust my glasses

and really see the true you.

Easy with no skin.

(Words and Feathers)


Visions in the dark.

You can never be certain —

that something is there.

(FlyTrapMan)


Windows to your soul.

The demon lurks in blackness—

blinding me with fear.

(Poetry Is My Aeroplane)


Slice the chosen one.

His blood runs until it’s done.

Come, let’s watch him bleed.

(Twisted Roads Of Madness)


Tearing you apart

Slowly, bit by bit, I ate

The heart you once owned.

(michnavs)


demoneyes2

Conjoined Haiku Train Collaboration

Karina Pinella

FlyTrapMan

Poet Rummager

Words and Feathers

Poetry Is My Aeroplane

Twisted Roads Of Madness

michnavs


Don’t just stand there—Hop on board!

We’d love…

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