Nut Mix

They squabble over the nut mix. Every morning, Elvira prepares their breakfast by sprinkling a mix of seeds, nuts, and dried fruit over their hot cereal. Without fail each day, she complains that the mix supply looks significantly less than the day before.

“Of course it does because you use it every day,” Henderson points out to his wife.

“Don’t take me for a fool. I hardly use much. A small handful is all I sprinkle over the oatmeal.” Elvira is annoyed because such exchange between them is starting to become routine. She wonders if she had been too hasty in getting married after knowing him for less than three months. But, she’s always been a decisive woman and they were both in their late fifties and not getting any younger. She also wanted to have a man around the house to help with the yard and her car.  Stuff her father used to do and her mum expected from a man.

As a woman of habit, Elvira would always leave for work soon after breakfast and return home right at dinnertime. Henderson, a freelance graphics artist, always works at home.  She and her husband had a silent understanding that this time apart served as a healthy break from each other. Nevertheless, Elvira’s suspicious nature couldn’t shake the feeling that the nut mix was dwindling faster than it ought to during the week.

To satisfy her curiosity, Elvira decides to break her customary ways for one day. Without telling Henderson, Elvira goes home for lunch, parking her car a block away and sneaking in the house to see if Henderson has been dipping into the nut mix. She knows he always makes a salad for lunch and she is tired of letting him think she doesn’t know what’s been going on.

Stealthily, she peeks through the living room window, sees that her husband is nowhere near, and silently opens the door. Tiptoeing into the kitchen, she screams as she sees a man-sized squirrel on its haunches preparing a big bowl of salad. Slowly turning around, the giant squirrel says, “What a surprise, Elvira.”  He looks down as he pours the nut mix into the salad, “Be glad I don’t eat meat.”

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Coming of Old Age

What went up quickly, now stays down mostly.

Image: Pixabay

In years past every weekend
Was wearing the latest trend.
Now it’s reading through the daily
To see who’s who in the obituary.

Shopping used to be for the frivolous,
Fun, fabulous, and more,
Now it’s become problematic,
To even find a ride to the store.

Eenie, meenie, minie, moe,
Catch the devil on my toe,
Should we stay, or should we go?
Where I point will be our destiny,
A place for us to spend eternity.

Let me serve you a deliciously deadly meal,
So we can rest together for real.
I’ll put on a red flannel teddy,
After supper, we’ll go to beddie,
And go with the flow and just be ready . . .

King for a Day

Image: Pixabay

Make a difference.
Aim for the sky.
Respect others.
Think big.
Inform yourself always;
No one else can be you.

Love as you want to be loved,
Unify when you can,
Tomorrow may be your last day.
Heaven is what you make of it.
Evangelize only words of hope,
Remove barriers where they oppress.

Kindly
Impart
Noble
Gifts.

Be King for a day and show peace in action.

A New Year

Looking forward
To engineering
Brand new beginnings
With diff’rent meaning.

This new year will be great!

My resolutions
Will be mini-revolutions;
No more procrastinations
I’ll be spinning ev’ry morning.

This new year will be great!

Instead of lunch, I’ll be running;
Dinner time is reserved for walking;
By year end, I’ll be done trimming.

This new year will be great!

This new year will be great!

2 – 0 – 1 – 8

This new year will be great!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Sweet Caroling

I’m dreaming of a big Christmas dinner,
One that would make me feel like a sinner,
With my mouth stuffed with turkey and ham,
Mashed potatoes and salad, but hold the Spam . . .

I’m dreaming of a generous, pricey present,
One that would flatter me for how much you spent,
With my Christmas stocking bulging,
Oh, thank you for being so indulging . . .

I’m dreaming of a beautiful Christmas tree,
One that would inspire me to sing with glee,
Under would be gifts full of glitter,
So many to brag about on twitter . . .

Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings!

Keep on dreaming . . .

Oops Brief: Tight Schedule

Image: Pixabay

Awakened by a full bladder, Lola scrambles out of bed when she realizes her alarm clock didn’t go off. She has a meeting to facilitate at the federal building and not much time to spend showering off her sleepiness. After barely toweling herself dry, Lola grabs what she thought was a pair of underwear but sees now it’s a pair of tights. Immediately, she pulls out a skirt suit and a blouse from her closet and puts them on. She then dons the pair of tights. As she takes a step, she feels the garter of her tights slip. Thinking quickly, Lola cinches a leather belt around her skirt to help hold up her tights. Proud of her simple solution, Lola dashes out.

As soon as Lola reached her building, she goes inside and is alarmed to find a line of people of starting to form. Then she remembers the security to enter the upper floors uses X-ray machines like those found at the airport. Soon it is her turn. Hurriedly, she places her purse, jacket, and briefcase in the bin on a carousel. She then walks between the sensor poles, which beeps.

“You have to take off your belt, ma’am,” the security officer extends his hand out to take the belt from her.

Conscious only of the time, Lola unbuckles her belt and gives it to the security staff.

As she steps forward, Lola is aghast at how quickly her tight schedule and loose tights lead to her downfall—right down to her ankles. No X-ray machines required.