vignette

The Ugly Sweater Chronicles: Ripped Off

/ Karina Pinella / 18 Comments

[A trilogy of “seamy” stories about the lure of ugly sweaters; 1 of 3]

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

The air is full of excitement. Tomorrow is Ugly Sweater Day and everyone is looking forward to it. People are staying longer in the water dispenser talking about their sweaters.

“My sweater has one big boob on one side, covered with a green pom-pom. Beat that!”

“Yah, that’s ugly. But mine has the body of a penguin on the front, right under the neckline.”

Snatches of conversation followed by guffaws can be heard in every corner. Darren sits at his desk, working, but obsessing on how he still doesn’t have an ugly sweater to wear for the big day. He went to Target over the weekend but the prices for ugly sweaters had been hiked. He’s not about to spend $35 for a sweater he wouldn’t wear more than once a year. Then, he remembers the discount department store at an outdoor shopping mall, which is a 15-minute walk from his office park.

When lunchtime approaches, Darren hurriedly heads over to the mall. He is forced to walk because his car is at the garage and not available until tomorrow. As much as he dislikes treading over roads with no sidewalks, he hates it even more if he doesn’t have an ugly sweater to wear the next day.

Having successfully reached the store, Darren goes to the clearance rack. He pumps his fist up in the air when he finds what he considers the ideal. After paying for it, he practically runs outside to get moving. The walk feels long because he has to retrace the terrible route that got him here. He clutches his bag as he tries to avoid being run down.

Suddenly, he’s knocked off his feet and lands on the small strip of dirt, off by the roadside. Did he get hit by a car? He feels as if he’s been punched in the back. What was it? As he raises his head, he sees two feet running off. He realizes that he’s been pushed. He feels around for his bag and sees it’s been stolen. Close to tears, he gets up, dusts himself off, and heads back to the mall. Tomorrow he will wear an ugly sweater, come hell or high water.

[See story 2]

Runaway

/ Karina Pinella / 5 Comments
run

Image: Pixabay

The rat scrambles. It runs toward the subway tunnel to escape its stalker, who keeps yelling, “I love you. Please don’t go.” Droplets of tears slide down the young runaway’s scabbed face. His world appears to crumble; he just wants something to care for since no one else cares about him.

The Laundromat

/ Karina Pinella / 26 Comments

Space is tight inside Lu’s Launderette. Stacey finds herself standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a man about her age. They’re both folding their shirts, pants, shorts, and undergarments. She starts feeling self-conscious as she knows it’s not her imagination that he’s been surreptitiously eyeing her lace-trimmed thongs and silk teddies. Her face reddens when he catches her eyes.

He smiles and says, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m wondering where you buy your underthongs.”

Stacey suppresses a laugh as she’s never heard such a term before, though they sound just as accurate as panties. She clears her throat to quell the urge to giggle and replies, “At Madam Madison a couple of blocks from here, actually.”

“Excellent. That’ll be my next stop, then. Hey, men wear those crotch covers too. Check this out.” He shows her a pair of black nylon thongs. “They’re comfortable, and as you know, they dry quickly.”

For a minute, Stacey doesn’t know how to respond. Then, she thinks, why not. She remembers her father wearing Speedos, why not thongs indeed?

“By the way, that’s a nice looking bra. Are those from the same place too?”

My father had man boobs, but he didn’t wear a bra, Stacey thinks. She hurriedly stuffs her last articles of clothing into a duffel bag and leaves without an answer.

Spam Lookalike

/ Karina Pinella / 11 Comments

spam . . . not
Freddy is excited about lunch because he gets to try Spam for the first time. His mom told him she would serve it sometime this week and it is the end of the week, so he thinks today must be the day. He runs downstairs toward the dining room. As usual, he doesn’t wear his eyeglasses because they’re uncomfortable. But his myopic vision discerns a plate sitting on the dining table, which isn’t set but they’re an informal family. The closer he gets to the table, the better he is able to make out a pinkish, rectangular shaped piece of meat in the plate. Eagerly, he picks it up and bites down, but the texture is rubbery and the taste isn’t anything he’s ever had before.

“Dumbo!” Freddy turns around to the sound of his sister’s laughing.

“You’re eating my phone case. I left it there to soak in baking soda to get the stains off. Now, you put your teeth marks on it.” His sister charges over to him and grabs her case from his hands.

“Next time, wear your glasses, so you can see what you’re doing,” she says, as she walks away with her phone case and a faint smile.

The Fiend

/ Karina Pinella / 14 Comments
shelter

Image: Pixabay

In a neighborhood not far from the city lives an elusive creature that few suspect is not human. Origin unknown and equally mysterious in how it sustains itself, the creature is looking outside, hiding behind the folds of the stained drapes that pepper the air with dust when moved even in the slightest way. The creature sees skipping down the sidewalk a little boy, who pauses in front of its house and picks up a pebble. The creature stays still. It rasps what sounds like “fiend” when the boy throws the small rock toward the creature’s shelter.

A Bridge No More

/ Karina Pinella / 12 Comments
Image by Blogetta

Image by Blogetta

A chance meeting at an acquaintance’s party led to them becoming significant to each other. The words “I love you” had been exchanged. Just as Alison thought their relationship was going to be more than a flash romance, Brian blindsided her by breaking up at a time when she needed someone most. Alison wept until she felt empty and numb.

After three months, she still felt melancholy so she called him. “I miss you. I miss our walks along the bridge.  Our weekends together.  Please come over. I need to talk to you.”

“What took so long for you to call? I missed you too,” Brian admitted. He went to see her. They talked into the night, sleeping platonically with each other. As she began to doze off, Alison couldn’t help but feel they weren’t so compatible after all.

The next day Alison felt resolved and accepted the breakup. They parted ways amicably. Weeks later, Brian started texting Alison, making overtures to meet with her again.  At first, Alison felt upset for she thought she had put things to rest, but he managed to engage her. They communicated almost daily via their smartphones. A reconciliation appeared to be in the making.

One night, a slightly intoxicated Alison called Brian to pick her up from a party. Upon reaching her apartment, her tongue gave way to a stream of words that produced tears from both of them. Phrases such as “This will never work” were tossed several times at a decibel level meant to cause pain. Suddenly, Alison collapsed in bed, partially from exhaustion and partially from alcohol she had consumed earlier at the party.

Once more they bade each other farewell. This time it looked to be final.

Oops Brief: Surprise Agenda

/ Karina Pinella / 14 Comments
allergy related accident

Image: Pixabay

The boardroom is full today because the company’s former Chairman, Mr. Ralph Finley, is in attendance to make a special endowment to the R&D group, among others. Twenty people sit around the rectangular conference table, all waiting for Mr. Finley, who is having a coughing fit. In between blowing his nose, he mutters to them, “Allergies, I forgot to take something for them today.” The people murmur their understanding. Suddenly, Mr. Finley sneezes so hard, his dentures fly out of his mouth and clatter on the table. For a moment, no one seems to breathe; the only sound is the clacking of teeth.

Undercover

/ Karina Pinella / 10 Comments

Peter left his undercover pig skin drying outside. He had been playing in the mud with the others and had to get away to wash some of the muck off his eyes. He is starting to get sucked into the easy life of his new friends, but he must remember his mission. He is a human trying to find out the secret happiness of the pigs, nothing more and nothing less. In and out. As soon as he figures it out, he’ll give up his undercover suit.

secret to happiness

Wednesday Warrior

/ Karina Pinella / 18 Comments

Getting your ya-yas out
Without fail every Wednesday, Drake dons his leather loincloth in the privacy of his home and listens to the vocalizations of his ululating hero, Tarzan. He thumps his chest and runs wild, making believe he is a warrior. He is his true self—uninhibited and unmedicated. Free from the cloudy reality for a day.

Tuesday Ten

/ Karina Pinella / 6 Comments

the number 10

Ten is a bad omen today–the 10th Tuesday of May, when Talia took $10,000 from Ten-Cent Bank at exactly 10:00 AM, so she could throw a 10-year anniversary bash for herself. Instead, Talia got caught and spent 10 hours being detained at the local authorities’ HQ. Her fate is sealed. She is committed to doing 10 months of community service and paying a $10,000 fine plus 10% penalty fees, which she needs to pay within the next 10 months. She has to borrow money to pay for her fine, so she asks her brother, who then goes to Ten-Cent Bank to take out a $10,000 loan. Now he is charging Talia 10% interest. Talia decides to go to the local liquor store to get all the booze she can get—likely not much—for her last $10.