[The song below is a loose parody of the hip-hop (rap) song Fergalicious, featuring Fergie and will. i. am of The Black Eyed Peas. To listen to the real song:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T0utQ-XWGY ]

(one, dos, three, cuatro)

Hey, hey, hear me out
Here’s a ditty come straight from my dorky heart

Dorkylicious means my glasses are cool
They’re rimless, made of polyvinyl, shatter-proof material
You can sit on ‘em, but you can’t break ‘em
Try all you want but I’ll be blunt
I did experience long ago
A bully kicked them off my nose with his stinky big toe
So malicious
But I am not officious
Dorkylicious (so judicious)
I simply whipped out my duct tape
Wrap, wrap, wrap
I wound the sticky stuff ‘round the middle of my frame
Makes me look a little lame

So dorky, oy oy oy (I play a mean chess game)
It’s so dorky oy oy oy (I put them all to shame, shame, shame)
It’s so dorky oy oy oy (They want my quidditch fame)
I’m Dorkylicious (la, la, la, ha, ha)

Dorkylicious yeh-, Dorkylicious yeh -, Dorkylicious yeh
Dorkylicious is the opposite of pernicious
I’m harmless, hairless, and clueless
To all that’s lubricious
I’m the D to the O, R, K the Y
And no one else can heave the biggest sigh
I’m Dorkylicious (so judicious)
My mind can be capricious
I go to my Star Trek conventions
Getting into Wookie conversations (aahnruh)

So dorky, oy oy oy (I play a mean chess game)
It’s so dorky oy oy oy (I put them all to shame, shame, shame)
It’s so dorky oy oy oy(They want my quidditch fame)
I’m Dorkylicious (la, la, la, ha, ha)

So you want to date me
Take a number
Talk to my mother
She’ll give you a once-over
Then we can play
Play, play, play, play
With my video games all day

P to the L to the A Y, play, P to the L to the A Y, you play
D to the O to the R K Y L I C I O U S; D to the O to the, to the, to the . . . .

Happy April Fools’ Day!