Hit Pause for Santa Claus

Hey, hey, gimme a
minute,
Ya hear?

Hit Pause for Santa Claus,

I spend all year
Getting all the toys in gear
Show me some Christmas cheer.

Hear, hear,

Hit Pause for Santa Claus,

Ain’t askin’ you to stop your career,
Wanna make that very clear,
Just show me some Christmas cheer.

Hey, hey, honey chile’
Cantcha chill for a while?

Hit Pause for Santa Claus,

Let go of that hectic lifestyle,
C’mon, toss that office file
Shine on a big ole smile
Is all I ask with no guile.

Hit Pause for Santa Claus

Hey, that ain’t crampin’ your style,
Do somethin’ fun before you go senile;
Smile, smile, long as a mile.

It’s Christmas time in the city,
In the country,
In the valley,
So let’s have a pep rally

For Christmas merry, merry

Hit Pause for Santa Claus

Let’s all be jolly,
Stop and smell the holly.

Hit Pause for Santa Claus

So we can all have a merry, merry

CHRISTMAS

[Note: The original lyrics above were slightly changed in the video to accommodate the limitations of the singer’s vocal range.]

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Code E3 — Stat

Loaded and ready to go,
Appeared to have a good start,
Then flashed a code E3,

Thus began my woe;
The washer required a $600 part
Plus labor expenses charged hourly.

Instead of wasting my dough,
I took an old go-cart,
Piled in all my dirty laundry,

Like a furious bat,
I raced to the local laundromat,
STAT . . .

I’ll be parked here for a while,
Feeling like I’m in exile,
Until there’s no more unwashed pile.

Image: Pixabay

Poetic Just Is

(1st of a mini-series of taking poetic license)

I made a decision.
Stop with the inquisition.
It just is.

My mind is made,
Nothing more to be weighed.
It just is.

Simply admire the gloss,
And accept that I’m my own boss.
It just is.

There’s no age limit
To getting a mullet.
So get used to it.

Image: Pixabay

You may also want to see:
2nd of the mini-series
3rd of the mini-series
4th of the mini-series
5th and last of the mini-series

Oops Brief: Padding the Truth

Image: Pixabay

Louisa glances at the time on her computer. A quarter of an hour before meeting with the company president! Quickly, she takes her purse and suit jacket, stopping by the restroom to freshen up. She gives herself a once-over at the waist-length mirror. Her self-inspection halts at the perspiration soaking through the sides of her blouse. She rushes to rub her armpits with a paper towel. A vision of sweat seeping through her thin, light-colored suit jacket concerns her. Just then her eyes land on a mini-vending machine for sanitary pads.

With growing annoyance, she tries to attach the sticky side of the panty liner on the slippery lining of her suit jacket’s armhole. She’ll just clamp her armpits down on the makeshift sweat shields. She heads out to meet with the president.

The meeting begins without a hitch and some people come in to join them. As the meeting continues to go well, Louisa finds herself relaxing and enjoying the group. Toward the end, the tone starts to lighten up. They start getting up, sharing anecdotes, with one trying to be funnier than the other.  Caught up with the others showing off their wit, Louisa thinks of a perfect tale. She makes grand gestures as she tries to impress her audience. Immediately, she realizes her mistake. One panty liner lands on the floor, while the other barely clings on to her skirt. This will be one story everyone will be talking about in the next meeting.

Orlando

Opening Spring Fling in Florida – Part 2 of 3

Our return to an expanded Disney Springs.

(sung to the tune of Abba’s Fernando)

Can you hear the gasp, Orlando?
I remember long ago when souvenirs were less than this
On a fire sale day, Orlando.
You’ve come a long way from a few shops to miles of chains
I could hear the constant ka-ching,
And sounds of consumerism from all over.

They are so many now, Orlando.
Every hour, every minute a sale is made
My eyes are glazed, Orlando.
Every turn I make, there’s a character from the past and present,
And I’m a little ashamed to say,
The sights and sounds still impress me.

Other parts:
Part 1
Part 3