A Cliff Note (a 6-word summary)

extreme pun
The lemmings went down in history.

 [Primary inspiration: The Marching Morons by C.M. Kornbluth]
http://mysite.du.edu/~treddell/3780/Kornbluth_The-Marching-Morons.pdf

A ‘Nuff Said Series: The Big Shirt

fresh start
Chapter 1: Freshly Pressed
“Ah . . . ”

stressed out Chapter 2: Stressed
“Unh .  . .”

disastrous
Chapter 3: Distressed
“Aiee!”

Dorkylicious

Parody of Fergalicious

Image: Pixabay

[The song below is a loose parody of the hip-hop (rap) song Fergalicious, featuring Fergie and will. i. am of The Black Eyed Peas. To listen to the real song:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T0utQ-XWGY ]

(one, dos, three, cuatro)

Hey, hey, hear me out
Here’s a ditty come straight from my dorky heart
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A ‘Nuff Said Series: Twerking Girl

Act 1: Behind the Times
“Oh . . .”

Act 2: Rearing to Go
“Yeah.”

Act 3: Bottoms Up
“Yay!”

take on working girl

Ay, Caesar Salad: American Style

The Makings of a Legendary Salad in Six Days

Day 1: Growing the greenest, lushest greens in a greenhouse
Day 2: Picking the greenest, lushest greens and washing them
Day 3: Packing the greenest, lushest greens into plastic containers
Day 4: Transporting the greenest, lushest greens to the supermarket
Day 5: Buying the greenest, lushest greens and putting them in a serving bowl
Day 6: Pouring your (store-bought) Caesar Salad dressing on the greenest, lushest greens in the serving bowl

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

Fluorescent Light Zone: Flounder

(A simple typo in a work email regarding booking a conference room called the Fish Bowl, because of its glass walls, becomes an object of despair for an unwitting working stiff — in the Fluorescent Light Zone.)

To: N. _ _ _ _ _
From: D. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Date: xx/xx/16
RE: Conference Room Request

Hi N.,
Please book the Fish Bowel from noon to two tomorrow. We’ll have lunch served there too . . . .

—————————————————————————————
(N. forwarded the flub to a co-worker friend for a one-minute giggle and the friend responded.)

To: N. _ _ _ _ _
From: A. _ _ _ _ _ _ _

That’s pretty shitty.

______________________________________________

As part of the Company’s Email Security Policy, random checks were being performed that day and the messages above were read by the IT Security Officer, who then had the HR Officer read them. In turn, the HR Officer showed it to D. _ _ _ _ , the requester of said conference room. D. was reprimanded because the error generated an unprofessional exchange that included a swear word. The powers that be had a brief meeting and concluded that such swear word is a gateway to more caustic swear words. As a result, D. was suspended from work for two days without pay and given the arduous project of writing 100 times with pen on paper the name of the conference room spelled correctly.

Moral: Do not flounder or you’ll be filleted and cooked like the proverbial fish jumping from the frying pan into the fire, as can only be experienced in the Fluorescent Light Zone.

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

Ripe Romance

anniversary
On the center of the long oak dining table sits a rectangular cake with silver-tinted words that read, “60th Anniversary.” Pam runs from the kitchen to the table to put the finishing touches to the already overflowing spread. The doorbell is ringing and someone is also knocking on the front door. Her mother, Mabel, calls out, “I’ll get the door, honey. Hurry and get your father so we can quickly sing and put him back to his room.”
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Oops Brief: Aggressive Lint

On the 4th floor in Suite 404, Felicity is suited to present her first presentation on fine footwear to the Board. Her watch tells her she has a minute to inventory herself: video remote  control in her hand – check; laser pointer in her suit jacket pocket – check; a cheat sheet for Q&A later – check. She glances down at her shoes and is alarmed to see the amount of lint clinging to her trouser socks.

lint2