[A trilogy of “seamy” stories about the lure of ugly sweaters. 3 of 3; see 2]
Image: Pixabay
Detective David LaFoote, along with his new junior partner, Detective Tobias LaFitte, shoulder their way in through the door. They look around the studio apartment, struck by the multitude of paper types pinned to a big bulletin board on the wall. Beneath all the newspaper clippings, invitation cards, and business letterhead is a large map of the metropolis. Different strands of colored yarn, connected by pins, point to specific locations on the map. Suddenly they hear a gasp and see a man cowering in the corner.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” the man whines. He is wearing a green sweater with a big snowman on the front, grinning back at them. “I’m taking what’s been due me for years . . .” He rubs his nose, as he asserts himself.
“Save your breath, buster. When I was growing up I was told to crochet my own sweater. I got a ball of yarn, while my classmates had their ugly sweaters already made.” LaFoote shakes his head, marveling at how his deeply buried memories so readily surface.
“I’m really sorry to hear what happened to you, but at least you were given some colorful material to knit something new. All I ever received when I was growing up was a picture of an ugly sweater from a mail-order catalog.” The man is now raving on and on.
“Spare me any more sob stories. You’re going down.” Detective LaFoote motions to his partner and speaks with authority. “Book him, Danno–for burglary and grand larceny!”
“Um, David. The name’s LaFitte.”
“Can’t you just be Danno for today? I’m really feeling like the 5-0 right now,” says LaFoote, harkening back to his grade school years of adoring the original “Hawaii Five-0” series on Friday nights. LaFoote strides away, glad but weary from the long hours of finally cracking open the Ugly Sweater Serial Stealer case.
[To see the first story, see 1.]
Don’t mess with a man who knows how to crochet. I never imagined I’d read a trilogy about ugly sweaters…now I want an ugly sweater! Thanks for spreading some holiday cheer.
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With pleasure! Ugly sweaters come hand in hand with the holidays. When else can you have full display of the likes of Santa and his reindeers without getting strange looks? Oh, you get strange looks anyway? Well go get yourself an ugly sweater. Better yet, crochet one!
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Don’t encourage me! I’m gonna crochet something soooo ugly.
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That’s the idea. In fact, how about holding an ugly sweater contest in one of your sites?
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That’s actually an interesting idea. If I find a way to make that happen, then I’ll let you know!
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Haha, thanks!
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Fun story.
Really enjoyed reading. 😀
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Thanks 😀
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This story reminds me of the Capraesque banter of the 1940’s. Maybe the next story can be Detective LaFoote investigating who stole my neighbors over the top blinding Christmas display with not one blow up Santa but 3. 😉 Just saying-it wasn’t me.
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Haha
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I thought for a moment that Darren did it. Loved reading this cheeky trilogy. 🙂
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Thank you. A little levity for the holidays.
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Hahahha great ending! Got a good laugh out of this. 🙂
– Lashaan
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Oh good, I love it when people laugh
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LOL excellent ending to the trio!
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Thank you!
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