Nutso

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

He: “I’m nuts about you.”

She: “You’re too nutty for me.”

He: “I got you nut ‘n honey cookies.”

She: “I got you nuttin’.”

He: “Want to watch The Nutcracker with me?”

She: “No, I’d like to crack your nuts.”

He: “You’re not so nice.”

She: “You’re nutso. Untie me!”

Ballsy

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

“I’m not here to bust your balls. I’m here so we don’t get our balls busted,” the new CEO assured his employees.

Six months later, he saved the shareholders $6 million by letting go 3,000 workers.

Outside the building, sitting on a park bench were two former employees, Sam and Hank. Sam snorted, “Our CEO sure had us by the balls.”

Hank responded, “Yep, he had the balls to make us believe that if we juggled our schedule to fit his deadlines, we’d be having a ball in no time.”

“Turns out he thinks we dropped the ball.” Sam rubbed his eyes so his friend wouldn’t see them misting.

“Got that right. It’s one new ball game these days.”

Sighing, they both stood up and left, scratching their balls.

Empty

empty

The tea set sits neglected due to the protracted absence of guests at a posh residence, where visitors today are rare. No one dares to visit for word that it houses the ghost of a once-famous TV host known to serve tea during the wee hours between 1:00 and 3:00 AM, leaving a sensation of chill and sorrow in the air. Only empty cups, unfilled for the unfulfilled.

A Cliff Note (a 6-word summary)

extreme pun
The lemmings went down in history.

 [Primary inspiration: The Marching Morons by C.M. Kornbluth]
http://mysite.du.edu/~treddell/3780/Kornbluth_The-Marching-Morons.pdf

Branch Out

branch out

Bring on your “A” game
Reach inside yourself
Aim for the stars
Never say “never”
Connect with others,
Have a good heart.

Open your mind
Unleash your abilities,
Trust them to blossom like never before.