Off-Stage Fright

mask

Image: Pixabay

Stacey is in love with Dan and is nervous about their first date. When she finds out they are going to the Comedy Club, she is doubly nervous. She’s heard about how some comedians can be merciless in picking on their audience. Still, she hopes they have a good time tonight.

“Hey, when you told me you enjoyed funny movies, I thought I’d take you to this club. I’ve heard it stars a lot of good up and coming comedians.” Dan tells her, as they are seated in the front row, practically touching the stage.

“Oh, no,” Stacey thinks, alarm bells ringing in her mind.

“I got us good seats because I know the manager who works here. You like it?”

Stacey tries to smile wider and barely assures him when the emcee comes up onstage and greets the audience.

Dan turns his attention to the stage and Stacey continues to fret inside.

After sitting through two comedians, both of whom have picked on the guests sitting near the stage, Stacey can barely keep from fidgeting; her dread escalates after every joke. She feels herself almost ready to hyperventilate when the next and thankfully last act comes on stage.

As the comedian starts his monologue, she realizes how funny he actually is, but this doesn’t stop the tension that continues to build insider her. Then, the moment she’s been fearing all evening happens; the comedian homes in on her and Dan. Her heart thuds.

“Yo, you’re the spitting image of my bobble head  . . . “ As the comedian starts his riff on Dan, Stacey’s ears  fill with the rush of blood flushing her face, making her deaf to the words. The tension that’s been building all evening finally bursts into a show of hysterical laughter.  Beads of perspiration trickle from her hairline down to the side of her lashes.  There too goes the mascara.

Inspired by BRH’s day 19 of napowrimo

The Yikes File: The Screamer

creepy crawler

Image: Pixabay

“Barney!” Betsy screams, paralyzed by the sight of the eight-legged creature that appears to peer at her from the bathroom corner.

Betsy’s husband, Barney, runs inside the bathroom, where his wife is naked and dripping from getting out of the shower.

“I’m too afraid to get my towel. That thing is too close. Help!” Betsy screeches while rubbing her arms.

Barney is still eyeing Betsy. As a newlywed, he’s still in awe of how lucky he is to be married to such a voluptuous beauty. He quickly forgets why he was summoned. He strides over to Betsy, picks her up, and beds her down.

Caught off guard, but pleasantly so, Betsy too forgets about the spider, as they romp around the bed. As she closes into the moment of no return, her eyes flutter open and catch the dangling spider from the ceiling. She screams as if there is no tomorrow.

[Inspired by Lynn Thaler’s blog: Random Life Thoughts: Morning Visitor]

Hairific: Fried Day

TGIF

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 5, see Day 4

 [Poetry dominates short story]          

A man known as Cowlick comes out of the one restroom and raises his voice, “There’s no fire. I, uh, I lit a match because . . . to freshen the air. . .” He scowls at the woman known as Singed, who stands close to the restroom, speaking directly to her. “I didn’t know we have a human smoke detector.”
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Hairific: Turban Thursday

a series of bad haircuts

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 4; see Day 3

[Poetic short story]

 Her real name is Theresa and she hides what’s left of her hair under a turban. She sizes the group around her, trying to still her nerves. Maddie nods her head as a cue. She introduces herself, “Hello, my name is Shorned Locks. My desire to be festive got the better of me. It started three weeks ago and came to a head yesterday . . . which is why I’m here today.” She clears her throat for all to hear her sad monologue:

“On St. Patrick’s Day I dyed the ends of my hair green to be in the spirit of things. Alas, I botched it as the shade didn’t have the right sheen. Thus, I went to get my hair cut, which looked like a thatched hut. I had asked for layers to replace my blunt look. Instead, I resembled a beast from a wild nature book.
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Hairific: Wiggy Wednesday

wigging out

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 3; see Day 2

[Poetry mashed with a short story]

Rebecca, who is known in their circle as Thin Hair, and Harry, who we know is False Hairy, find a coffee shop near the place of group therapy. They eye each other hungrily, as they feel the heat emanate from their respective chemistries.

“False Hairy, I hope you won’t think me forward, but as an older woman, I tend to get straight to the point. You make my heart beat as I gaze at your face so sweet.”
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Hairific: Toupee Tuesday

another hairific day

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 2; see Day 1

[Poetry crashing into a short story]

“My toupee has blown away!” False Hairy screams.

“Everyone, please don’t move.” Maddie turns off the ceiling fan and apologizes, “I’m sorry, False Hairy, for forgetting some of us have hair that may go astray while the fan moves like a schizo UFO.”
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Hairific: Mousey Monday

a series of bad hair days, day 1

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 1

[Poetry in collusion with a short story]

Haironymous Bush reads the plaque on the door. Inside are people of varied sizes, ages, and sexual persuasions with one thing in common and nothing more. Their bad hair days outnumber the good. They all stand in attention as their Chapter Hairmeister, Maddie O’Hare, leads the opening prayer, “Dear Lord, help us overcome our frizzies, split ends, and turmoil over our tresses. Bless us with a calmer mood.”
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The Mamabomber

bureacracy

Image: Pixabay

Mrs. Chilewitz is simmering inside as her only son, Donald, relates to her his college crisis.

“Professor Linden said I cheated, Ma, but I didn’t. I’m telling you this not so you can talk to anyone because it’s a done deal. This isn’t a store where the customer is always right. It’s school where the teacher is always the right one.”

“How dare he accuse you. What evidence do they have?”
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A ‘Nuff Said Series: Twerking Girl

Act 1: Behind the Times
“Oh . . .”

Act 2: Rearing to Go
“Yeah.”

Act 3: Bottoms Up
“Yay!”

take on working girl

Crushin’ Roulette

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

Pete has mixed feelings as he listens to Joe about Rose. At one time, Pete thought she was the one who would end his self-imposed celibacy. It was a close call, but now he’s glad he waited. Ironically, it was the waiting that ruined their relationship, but in many ways saved him after he found out more about her.
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