He: “I’m nuts about you.”
She: “You’re too nutty for me.”
He: “I got you nut ‘n honey cookies.”
She: “I got you nuttin’.”
He: “Want to watch The Nutcracker with me?”
She: “No, I’d like to crack your nuts.”
He: “You’re not so nice.”
She: “You’re nutso. Untie me!”
He dreams of high-heeled shoe wear,
Miniskirts and slips.
Render him female
A padded bra and panties,
Starters to mend her.
The tall ships sailed
Fated to find a new world
To be conquered
Much to see, o!
Round up the bands
Of natives and their lands
Create new brands
Under the explorer’s commands
‘Tis a new world order
With a rebound border
Survival of the fittest
Along with a long list
Of those willing to enlist
To put up their figurative fist.
You have restless legs, Felix recalls his doctor saying, as he finds himself walking around in his underwear in the middle of a busy street.
I have to be dreaming, Felix thinks because people seem to ignore him. He sees a woman approach him with a rictus that is supposed to pass off as a smile, but not quite successfully.
“Are you lost, dear? My husband used to fade out and wander off too. God rest his soul.” She takes his arm and guides him down the street. “Let me take you to my place; it’s just a short walk down to get you reoriented.”
Definitely a dream, Felix decides, as he plays along and allows the woman to help him. When he sees an uneven, worn looking building with missing bricks on its façade and a couple of windows with fine cracks like spider webs, he’s confident it’s all a dream. How can a lady who carries a Gucci purse and wears fine leather shoes live here?
But the woman acts like she’s right at home when she opens the door and leads him inside. The bright interior and clean spartan lines of the furniture cements his belief it’s all a dream. She leaves him thinking and reappears with a glistening cold glass of milk. “Here, you look thirsty to me.”
Felix drinks it quickly, not really tasting anything. He suddenly feels drowsy and again assures himself it’s only a dream, as he finds himself on a bed. His lids are weighing down.
He wakes, not knowing how much time has passed, and sees he’s now chained in bed, underwear removed. The same woman hovers nearby with the same thin smile. “You’re still dreaming, dear.”