Images: Pixabay
The pea pod was too cramped.
Replaced by a Yellow Submarine (a six-word story)
Images: Pixabay
The pea pod was too cramped.
humorous piece
Oops Brief: The Trail
Image: Pixabay
Mary Jo rushes to the airport’s public restroom. She has less than five minutes to greet Drew Hanson in the meeting lounge. He is one of her company’s bigger accounts and she has been sent to give him their preliminary report. As a habit drilled into her as a child, she quickly lines the seat with toilet tissue. She sits and relieves herself. After washing her hands, she dashes out, unaware of the toilet paper trailing behind her like a bride going down the aisle. Her face is ablaze with enthusiasm as she eagerly goes forth to make a good impression in her first client meeting.
Fluorescent Light Zone: Flounder
(A simple typo in a work email regarding booking a conference room called the Fish Bowl, because of its glass walls, becomes an object of despair for an unwitting working stiff — in the Fluorescent Light Zone.)
To: N. _ _ _ _ _
From: D. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Date: xx/xx/16
RE: Conference Room Request
Hi N.,
Please book the Fish Bowel from noon to two tomorrow. We’ll have lunch served there too . . . .
—————————————————————————————
(N. forwarded the flub to a co-worker friend for a one-minute giggle and the friend responded.)
To: N. _ _ _ _ _
From: A. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
That’s pretty shitty.
______________________________________________
As part of the Company’s Email Security Policy, random checks were being performed that day and the messages above were read by the IT Security Officer, who then had the HR Officer read them. In turn, the HR Officer showed it to D. _ _ _ _ , the requester of said conference room. D. was reprimanded because the error generated an unprofessional exchange that included a swear word. The powers that be had a brief meeting and concluded that such swear word is a gateway to more caustic swear words. As a result, D. was suspended from work for two days without pay and given the arduous project of writing 100 times with pen on paper the name of the conference room spelled correctly.
Moral: Do not flounder or you’ll be filleted and cooked like the proverbial fish jumping from the frying pan into the fire, as can only be experienced in the Fluorescent Light Zone.
Image: Pixabay
Zombody to Love
Image: Pixabay
Tricia and Don used to roam naked in their house so they could make love wherever and whenever. Once they raided the kitchen and painted each other with peanut butter and jelly. It made for a body-lickin’ good lunch. They followed it with a race to the tub for a memory-lasting scrubby-dub-dub. Rapturous times.
A few years went by. They got up, took off their pajamas, showered, dressed, and went about their business. A new routine. Their marriage counselor assured them, “You’re just going through the zombie stage. This too shall pass. ”
Neurotica
Twin sisters, Veronica and Erica,
Identical of face,
Yet different in many ways.
Always fretting with a permanent tic,
Veronica is neurotic.
Full of verve and nerve,
Erica loves anything exotic or erotic.
A grand family reunion is planned.
Surprise, surprise!
They discover a third sister,
Their long-lost triplet separated at birth.
Her name is Jessica,
Who has an obsession for kinky fashion.
She’s Veronica and Erica combined–
A neurotica, as defined.
Image: Pixabay
True Smut
Two-second smut thought:
One size fits all.
Image: Pixabay
Cold Feet
Promised to unite
Spring time comes with wedding bells;
He’s being a grub.
Image: Pixabay
Oops Brief: Aggressive Lint
On the 4th floor in Suite 404, Felicity is suited to present her first presentation on fine footwear to the Board. Her watch tells her she has a minute to inventory herself: video remote control in her hand – check; laser pointer in her suit jacket pocket – check; a cheat sheet for Q&A later – check. She glances down at her shoes and is alarmed to see the amount of lint clinging to her trouser socks.
Disguised Obscenities
“Why the fudgecake did you that for, bumbrass?”
“I told you we had to cover our mass.”
“Sheesh-kabob, I’m never going to work with you again.”
“Gold drum it. You’re a real sum of a bridge.”
“You sold us out. You’re no better than a two-bit horseshoe.”
“You’re a real continental divide.”
Image: Pixabay
Tuesday Twister
Trudy Truesdale thinks Tuesday’s tongue twister tryout tends to tumble the thought train. Tori Tucker’s tactic to tickle the tally taker turns to torture. Tommy Turner tattles to the team’s teacher.
Tension trumps, triggering twitches.
“That’s that!” their teacher tells them.
The team terminates.
Image: Pixabay
Karina Pinella 
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