Image: Pixabay
Touch not your fellow co-workers,
Serve well both internal and external stakeholders.
Shred all confidential information,
Lock your computer when going to the john.
Stifle your yawn at meetings,
Imbibe lightly during business gatherings,
Be discreet if you must ask,
“Has anyone seen my flask?”
Maintain a paper-free environment and don’t be dour,
Avoid socializing and merriment until after hours.
Be polite when you ask,
“May I please go home when I finish this task?”
Image: Pixabay
The clock strikes five. All the worker bees in Suite 320 suddenly come to life, shutting down their computers, tossing their empty coffee cups. Others lock up their drawers as if afraid somebody might steal their company-issued office supplies.
“Bye, Henry.”
“Have a nice weekend, Linda.”
“TGIF!”
Farewells among colleagues are exchanged; they give and accept their goodbyes like eager squirrels storing away their nuts for winter.
Less than five minutes later, the whole office is cleared. Sounds of rolling wheels break the silence as the little man behind a gray trash barrel comes in. As Head Custodian, he rips up all the computers, along with the desks and pitches them into the bottomless barrel. He has determined this last batch of worker bees does not work hard enough. They will not have a place to work when they return on Monday morning. He wheels away to the next floor to decide on the fate of the group in Suite 420.
Image: Pixabay
Everyone in the office was in a flurry. They all received the same white envelope with a blue seal.
“I can’t believe they’re going to do away with our tradition,” Dora says to Mary, whose office desk is just inches away from hers.
“You must admit that they were kind enough to give us advance notice so we can start saving for our holiday dinner now.” Mary waves the letter from their company’s President, copied to Human Resources and their holiday ham supplier, “Ham Hocks ‘r You, Me, and Us, LLC”.
Dora sighs as she rereads the letter to Mary:
Dear Valued Employee,
As our company is known to be charitable and humanitarian minded, we will be donating on your behalf the holiday ham to those more in need. I am sure you feel the same as I that this is for a good cause. To save up to purchase your ham for yourselves this holiday, see HR to have additional deductions made from your paycheck.
In keeping with the giving spirit, your holiday bonus will be donated to the company’s annual holiday party. We can all look forward to this year’s buffet spread including two meat choices of roast and ham, plus two desserts. As a bonus, two more raffle items can be added to our usual three door prizes.
I look forward to seeing you all at the holiday party.
Holiday wishes,
Brent Grimbsy
President, CEO, MBA, BSC, NBC, DeET, LDA, MlPH
Karina Pinella 
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