Princess Beulah blows her top when she learns her royal crush, Prince Roland, celebrated his birthday without inviting her. She unfriended him from her Facebook and dropped him from her Snapchat. Taking out her bejeweled diary, she writes:
He’s just another minion,
A bunion to excise,
An onion not worth crying over.
No longer my major attraction,
I shall speak to my father,
And ask him to make way in his dungeon.
Watch out, Rolly, old flame,
Soon your head will fall
And permanently adorn my wall.
Image by Blogetta
A chance meeting at an acquaintance’s party led to them becoming significant to each other. The words “I love you” had been exchanged. Just as Alison thought their relationship was going to be more than a flash romance, Brian blindsided her by breaking up at a time when she needed someone most. Alison wept until she felt empty and numb.
After three months, she still felt melancholy so she called him. “I miss you. I miss our walks along the bridge. Our weekends together. Please come over. I need to talk to you.”
“What took so long for you to call? I missed you too,” Brian admitted. He went to see her. They talked into the night, sleeping platonically with each other. As she began to doze off, Alison couldn’t help but feel they weren’t so compatible after all.
The next day Alison felt resolved and accepted the breakup. They parted ways amicably. Weeks later, Brian started texting Alison, making overtures to meet with her again. At first, Alison felt upset for she thought she had put things to rest, but he managed to engage her. They communicated almost daily via their smartphones. A reconciliation appeared to be in the making.
One night, a slightly intoxicated Alison called Brian to pick her up from a party. Upon reaching her apartment, her tongue gave way to a stream of words that produced tears from both of them. Phrases such as “This will never work” were tossed several times at a decibel level meant to cause pain. Suddenly, Alison collapsed in bed, partially from exhaustion and partially from alcohol she had consumed earlier at the party.
Once more they bade each other farewell. This time it looked to be final.
Long distance I walked
Looked forward to seeing you
Two minutes too late.
Yo, bro’, what went wrong?
We guzzled down beers,
Shot eight balls on the green,