Lost in Sleep

lost
You have restless legs, Felix recalls his doctor saying, as he finds himself walking around in his underwear in the middle of a busy street.

I have to be dreaming, Felix thinks because people seem to ignore him. He sees a woman approach him with a rictus that is supposed to pass off as a smile, but not quite successfully.

“Are you lost, dear? My husband used to fade out and wander off too. God rest his soul.” She takes his arm and guides him down the street. “Let me take you to my place; it’s just a short walk down to get you reoriented.”

Definitely a dream, Felix decides, as he plays along and allows the woman to help him. When he sees an uneven, worn looking building with missing bricks on its façade and a couple of windows with fine cracks like spider webs, he’s confident it’s all a dream. How can a lady who carries a Gucci purse and wears fine leather shoes live here?

But the woman acts like she’s right at home when she opens the door and leads him inside. The bright interior and clean spartan lines of the furniture cements his belief it’s all a dream. She leaves him thinking and reappears with a glistening cold glass of milk. “Here, you look thirsty to me.”

Felix drinks it quickly, not really tasting anything. He suddenly feels drowsy and again assures himself it’s only a dream, as he finds himself on a bed. His lids are weighing down.

He wakes, not knowing how much time has passed, and sees he’s now chained in bed, underwear removed. The same woman hovers nearby with the same thin smile. “You’re still dreaming, dear.”

Royal Vexation

revenge

Image: Pixabay

Princess Beulah blows her top when she learns her royal crush, Prince Roland, celebrated his birthday without inviting her. She unfriended him from her Facebook and dropped him from her Snapchat. Taking out her bejeweled diary, she writes:

He’s just another minion,
A bunion to excise,
An onion not worth crying over.

No longer my major attraction,
I shall speak to my father,
And ask him to make way in his dungeon.

Watch out, Rolly, old flame,
Soon your head will fall
And permanently adorn my wall.

Everyday Diva

unreasonable

Always demanding
She thinks she is royalty
Has to have her way.

Cartoonish antics
Reflected in her selfies
Though no one dares say

Quite a tongue lasher
Temper tantrums her mainstay
Her crown is for play.

Libation Nation

drinks

Drink and be merry,
Happy Hour starts at five sharp,
Or any time today.

From draft to craft beer,
Whiskies, daiquiris, coolers,
Liqueurs, wines, and more

Thirst quenchers galore,
Choose your poison, fill ‘er up,
Slurp until you burp.

Make My Monday

first day of the week

Image: Pixabay

I’ll make my bed
I’ll make my breakfast
I’ll even make it out the door
But, make my Monday.

The first day of the week
Makes me feel weak
Thinking of it makes me ill
More so than paying a bill.

I’ll crawl back to bed
I’ll forget breakfast
I’ll lock the door.
Make my Monday.

Leave

banish
I couldn’t believe
He told me to leave;
This nice gnome
From his cozy home.
Me, his roommate
Since 2008.

Why the boot?
I’m just an old coot?
My space is a hole
Not even much for a vole
I’m a plain pushover,
I only eat your leftover.

I will admit
For longer than a bit,
I’ve been filling up your studio
I never thought I’d outgrow
But why couldn’t you be a diplomat,
And not simply call me a FAT RAT?

End Game

end of the world

Image: Pixabay

“What this messed up world needs is to be new-cleared.”

“Just because everything seems to be going to hell doesn’t mean we deserve to be nuked.”

“We’re all nothing more than just pawns of the elite greedy liars we call leaders.”

“Still doesn’t mean we have to throw in the towel.”

“Look, I’m hungry, so let’s just end the game.”

The two old men clear the chess board and head out to get their daily lunch special.