The Icebreaker

hot dogs
Gus signs his name with relish, as he registers in as a contestant to Doug’s Hot Dog House’s annual wiener eating challenge.  He walks to the counter to pick up his platter of freshly boiled ‘dogs, each resting peacefully in a pillowy hot dog bun. His stomach lurches; he knows this will slam him later but he has to have something to talk about at Larry’s party later tonight. Whenever he is invited to social events, which by the way is rare, he feels small when he has so little to say.

The hot dog eating contestants sit side by side on a 12-foot rectangle picnic table on the eatery’s back patio. Gus sees someone he knows a couple of places down.  He catches their eye and they both acknowledge one other.

“I gotta win this,” Gus mutters to himself, as the whistle blows for them to start gulping down.

“Go, Bill!”

“Just swallow it, Sam!”

“Yay, Dad!”

Gus tries to tune out the onlookers’ cheers for their chowing champions, along with the disgusting grunts, splutters, and groans from the hopeful victors. As he plows through his franks, he ignores the gorge that starts to form in his throat. His face flushes from squelching the two most likely routes the food might travel as it erupts from inside his body. As he forces the last hot dog into his mouth, he gets dizzy. His cheeks burn from tears that drip from the corners of his eyes. Suddenly, all light blots out.

 “Hey, dude, you okay?”

“Yo . . .  hello . . . “

Gus starts to come to as he hears voices calling him back to consciousness. His eye lids flutter, determined to open. He sees a circle of faces looking down at him.

“You with us?”

Gus’ vision becomes clearer. He’s still at the Hot Dog House, but away from the table. He doesn’t remember moving from where the action seems to be winding down now as he looks back at the faces still staring at him.

“Whoa.” A bearded man helps Gus, who struggles to get up. “Take ‘er easy . . . just sit fer a while. You ain’t missin’ anythin’.”

Gus is sitting up now, noticing that he’s on a narrow cot not too far from the ground.

“We get the occasional . . . .  But you’ll be okay. You weren’t out too long.”

“Am I disqualified?” Gus asked, feeling his stomach twist for a different reason.

A woman wearing a denim visor shakes her head. “No, dear. I believe you won second place.” She looks up at the others. “Am I right?” The others nod.

Gus faintly smiles, thinking he can legitimately say he passed out, which should make his story seem even more interesting. Just think; he could say he saw a light at the end of a tunnel, or he could describe how he saw his body laying helpless as it seemed to float above himself, attached only by a silver cord. And because he really was a winner, he could say that it was worth the pain, thanking everyone for their help.

So Gus goes to claim the runner’s-up prize, which so happens is a brass-embossed wiener trophy. Perfect. Now he’s got a story and a souvenir to break the ice at tonight’s party.

An American Toil

work all day

Image: Pixabay

Terri toils all day, stopping for lunch only to eat some stale bread sopped in dishwater soup. No relief until the sun sets and traffic is nil. Darkness envelopes Terri as she climbs aboard the bus. Her mood is black even though her commute is short. A blessing for others, but she sees it as a brief pause before going to another place of toil. She gets home and feeds her hungry latchkey kids. Supper is last night’s leftover rice and beans. Off to bed with tummies full of gas. The next day is another run-of-the-mill, nose-to-the-grind-day.

Off-Stage Fright

mask

Image: Pixabay

Stacey is in love with Dan and is nervous about their first date. When she finds out they are going to the Comedy Club, she is doubly nervous. She’s heard about how some comedians can be merciless in picking on their audience. Still, she hopes they have a good time tonight.

“Hey, when you told me you enjoyed funny movies, I thought I’d take you to this club. I’ve heard it stars a lot of good up and coming comedians.” Dan tells her, as they are seated in the front row, practically touching the stage.

“Oh, no,” Stacey thinks, alarm bells ringing in her mind.

“I got us good seats because I know the manager who works here. You like it?”

Stacey tries to smile wider and barely assures him when the emcee comes up onstage and greets the audience.

Dan turns his attention to the stage and Stacey continues to fret inside.

After sitting through two comedians, both of whom have picked on the guests sitting near the stage, Stacey can barely keep from fidgeting; her dread escalates after every joke. She feels herself almost ready to hyperventilate when the next and thankfully last act comes on stage.

As the comedian starts his monologue, she realizes how funny he actually is, but this doesn’t stop the tension that continues to build insider her. Then, the moment she’s been fearing all evening happens; the comedian homes in on her and Dan. Her heart thuds.

“Yo, you’re the spitting image of my bobble head  . . . “ As the comedian starts his riff on Dan, Stacey’s ears  fill with the rush of blood flushing her face, making her deaf to the words. The tension that’s been building all evening finally bursts into a show of hysterical laughter.  Beads of perspiration trickle from her hairline down to the side of her lashes.  There too goes the mascara.

Inspired by BRH’s day 19 of napowrimo

The Mamabomber

bureacracy

Image: Pixabay

Mrs. Chilewitz is simmering inside as her only son, Donald, relates to her his college crisis.

“Professor Linden said I cheated, Ma, but I didn’t. I’m telling you this not so you can talk to anyone because it’s a done deal. This isn’t a store where the customer is always right. It’s school where the teacher is always the right one.”

“How dare he accuse you. What evidence do they have?”
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Crushin’ Roulette

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

Pete has mixed feelings as he listens to Joe about Rose. At one time, Pete thought she was the one who would end his self-imposed celibacy. It was a close call, but now he’s glad he waited. Ironically, it was the waiting that ruined their relationship, but in many ways saved him after he found out more about her.
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A Grand Good-bye

Image by Anna

Image by Anna

Kelsey cuts herself but no one really pays attention to her. She doesn’t mind because she’s lost her ability to care about what others think of her or her situation. Her parents are too preoccupied vying for other people’s attention. Her siblings seem a generation older than she. What friends? The last Facebook message she received read, “Kelsey flings her boogers around. Beware of UFOs.” Old junior high school crap. Forever memorialized because she doesn’t know how to delete the account.

She’s in her first year of college now. Why did she even bother going? She chose psychology as her major even though she doesn’t want to hear other people’s problems. She took it on only because she didn’t know what else to do. Pressure everywhere. Finally, spring break is here. A break-out from all her problems, her haters, herself. She’s going to go big. Going to the Grand Canyon, where there’s just her and nature. No more people, no more boring lectures.

Now Kelsey’s at the airport, thankful for her little friend, Visa, as supplied by her parents. At least she didn’t have to worry about where to get her next meal. Now she wonders. Am I just another spoiled brat with nothing else better to do? No, she tells herself. I’ve done my share of community service and charity events. I just can’t get in step with others. She boards the plane, finds her seat, and reclines, closing her eyes.

“Kelsey, is that you?”

Kelsey blinks and sees a pair of smiling hazel eyes. Her mind rifles through memories, trying to place the face. Bingo!

“Jess?”

“Hell yeah! Amazing how you haven’t changed much. The same cute freckles and that shade of red hair I can’t forget.”

“Oh my God! I can’t believe this. What are you doing here?”

“Going to hike the Grand Canyon. You? Going to Vegas to roll some dice?”

“I’m still stunned to see you. Never in a thousand years did I think I’d see you after what . . . fifth grade?”

“Yeah, right. From kindergarten through fifth, we were quite the pair together, huh? Tell me what you’ve been up to since you moved away.”

Kelsey grew quiet. How much should she tell this boy, who was her first and only best friend? Well, former; they never kept in touch, so would that make it former then, right? They were only kids.

“You tell me first, Jess. ‘Cuz my mind’s still scrambled from surprise to see you.”

“I’m actually traveling by myself, Kels . . . Hey, remember that? How we’d be called Jess and Kels? We were like twins, but no one ever really understood us, did they?”

“Yeah?”

Jess’ eyes darkened, “I’ll confess, Kels, nothing right’s going on with me. People talk behind my back and say there goes Jess the mess. I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I’ve always had a connection with you. Like, I don’t even feel like we’ve been separated for years.”

“Hey, let’s hike the Canyon together.”

They reminisce over the mischief they caused and recall their childhood jokes. They put off talking about the underlying grimness they really feel. Enough time for that when they hike.

The next day, Jess and Kelsey drive out to the Grand Canyon together, simply enjoying each other’s presence, allowing the iPhone tunes playing through the car speaker to blast away the silence and unsavory thoughts. Upon reaching the Grand Canyon and beginning their hike, their conversation drifts again into the dim realm of their present reality.

They find a spot where they stand alone; Kelsey starts to cry.

“My life is a mess too, Jess. It’s a joke. But, as I’m looking out here right now, I see why we’re here. It’s to appreciate the beauty of this world.”

“I get it now too, Kels.”

They hold hands and look quietly out into the deepness of the canyon. They stare at each other, both deciding in their private thoughts to say good-bye to their original plans to jump. They feel a glimmer of hope as their curiosity awakens to what the next day will bring.

Zombody to Love

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

Tricia and Don used to roam naked in their house so they could make love wherever and whenever. Once they raided the kitchen and painted each other with peanut butter and jelly. It made for a body-lickin’ good lunch. They followed it with a race to the tub for a memory-lasting scrubby-dub-dub. Rapturous times.

A few years went by. They got up, took off their pajamas, showered, dressed, and went about their business. A new routine. Their marriage counselor assured them, “You’re just going through the zombie stage. This too shall pass. ”

’70s Flashback Romance

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

[Story told with Song Titles from the ’70s top hits]

Freddy adjusts his hospital bed so he can recline. Seventy years old and ailing with sarcoma, his only comfort are the memories of when he first met the love of his life. He closes his eyes to recall those times . . .

Over 40 years ago . . .

“Ooh, Candy Man.” Freddy stares at the muscle man centerfold.

No one is around the apartment courtyard to pay attention to him leafing through Billy’s Bi-Cycle World, an underground magazine his former partner used to bring home. Now no one is bringing home anything to him because He’s Alone Again (Naturally). He hasn’t had anyone stay long enough with him through the Seasons in the Sun. He suspects it’s because he dresses like a Rhinestone Cowboy. An eternal optimist, Freddy decides to Get Down Tonight and drop by the club Convoy, where he can be himself as a Dancing Queen.

Tucked in MacArthur Park, the bar looks unassuming from the outside. In contrast, the inside is Hot Stuff, with a strobe light dominating the ceiling and glittering the burgundy and black plush interior. Freddy glides over to the bar.

Knock on Wood.” Freddy raps his knuckles on the oaken counter, as he hails his favorite bartender, Tony. Tony waves at Freddy from the end of the counter, calling out, “I’ll Be There.

Freddy gives him a thumbs up and swivels his chair to the other side to check out the crowd. He sees the regulars and winks at one or two he’s had trysts with. He feels a tap on his shoulder. Someone whispers in his ear, “(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty.”

Recognizing the voice, Freddy laughs as he turns around. “If it ain’t the New Kid in Town. Hey, Daniel, what . . . .” His voice trails as he’s Blinded by the Light that appears to outline the Adonis that stands next to Dan, his friend.

“Freddy, meet Michel. He’s moving here from New York and looking for a place to stay. Since I still live with my parents who aren’t quite open to . . . you know . . .”

“For sure, I Can Help.” Freddy extends his hand to shake Michel’s. “With a Little Luck, we’ll find you a Hotel California.” Freddy squeezes Michel’s hand and adds, “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing.” Freddy turns to Dan and says, “You mind?”

“Go right ahead. I’m looking for my Brown Sugar.” Dan goes toward a large group that swallows him.

Just before Freddy and Michel head to the dance floor, Tony comes up to them from behind the counter, “Freddy, you want your usual?” Freddy looks questioningly at Michel, who says, “I’ll have a Manhattan.”

“Ooh, make that two.”

As Tony makes their drinks, Freddy and Michel sit at the bar, facing each other, knee-to-knee.

“I want to Make it with You,” Freddy says to Michel.

Let’s Get it On.

Soon after they get their drinks, they swig them and hurry over to Freddy’s place, where they do Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds and pretend to do some Kung Fu Fighting. As they reach the peak of their high, Freddy starts to strip dance and says to Michel, “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.”

That’s the Way (I Like It).

After that fateful evening, Freddy and Michel became inseparable. Although they had their fair share of War with each other, they always hopped back on the Love Train. Once, Michel left and took a Midnight Train to Georgia. It was a sad period of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover for Freddy. But, Michel came back The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia. On their 10th anniversary of being together, Michel found out he had AIDS. Freddy went through a Love Rollercoaster, but Michel said to him, “Don’t Leave Me this Way, When I Need You. Don’t Give Up on Us.” When he buried Michel, Freddy knew then that his heart would always have a void no one can fill. It felt like The Night Chicago Died.

His thought of Michel at peace brings him back to his present condition. He will soon be Reunited with him. It won’t be long now. He imagines Michel saying, “Too Much Heaven, but I’ll Take You There.” Freddy feels his eyes misting and thinks The Tears of a Clown. As his consciousness starts drifting, his last thought is being with Michel again and saying to him, “Looks Like We Made It.”

Song titles in the order they appear

Candy Man – Sammy Davis Jr.
Alone Again (Naturally) – Gilbert O’Sullivan
Seasons in the Sun – Terry Jacks
Rhinestone Cowboy – Glen Campbell
Get Down Tonight – KC and the Sunshine Band
Convoy – C.W. McCall
Dancing Queen – Abba
MacArthur Park – Donna Summer
Hot Stuff – Donna Summer
Knock on Wood – Amii Stewart
I’ll Be There – The Jackson 5
(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty – KC and the Sunshine Band
New Kid in Town – Eagles
Daniel – Elton John
Blinded by the Light – Manfred Mann’s Earth Band
I Can Help – Billy Swan
With a Little Luck – Wings
Hotel California – Eagles
You Make Me Feel Like Dancing – Leo Sayer
Brown Sugar – The Rolling Stones
Make it with You – Bread
Let’s Get it On – Marvin Gaye
Sky with Diamonds – Elton John
Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas
You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet – Bachman-Turner Overdrive
That’s the Way (I Like It) – KC and the Sunshine Band
War – Edwin Starr
Love Train – The O’Jays
Midnight Train to Georgia – Gladys Knight & the Pips
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon
The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia – Vicki Lawrence
Love Rollercoaster – Ohio Players
Don’t Leave Me this Way – Thelma Houston
When I Need You – Leo Sayer
Don’t Give Up on Us – David Soul
The Night Chicago Died – Paper Lace
Reunited – Peaches & Herb
Too Much Heaven – Bee Gees
I’ll Take You There – The Staple Singers
The Tears of a Clown – Smokey Robinson & the Miracles
Looks Like We Made It – Barry Manilow

Fenced In

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

Dinner is ready. While Marcy waits for her husband, Jerry, to come home, she drinks a glass of vodka straight, and then brushes her teeth with fennel flavored toothpaste. She goes toward the kitchen when she hears her husband come in.
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