Darla stands on the front porch, staring at her locked cottage. How stupid to have forgotten the key. It’s too late at night to call a locksmith or anyone. As she settles into her rocker chair to doze, the front door creaks open and a cloaked figure summons her inside.
Though blest with wealth beyond need, Langdon Carlsberg lacks the basic measure to feel manly. One day at a public lavatory, he chances upon a well-endowed man urinating next to him. Langdon befriends him.
Nine months later, Langdon is seen jogging down a nude beach, sporting his well-healed, long schlong.
Since working at the morgue, Elmer has learned to appreciate the dead. He looks at the clock and sighs. A few more hours until he can call it dawn.
“Okay, your move,” he says to the poker-faced corpse propped on a seat across from him, with a chessboard between them.
Photographs of smiling family portraits in the guest bedroom seem to mock his failure to hold his own family together. Bitterness overwhelms him as he impulsively grabs the decorative sword from the wall and creeps inside his hosts’ bedroom. Soon after puncturing both their throats, he wails, “I’m so sorry.”
She’s struck by his broad shoulders, but then catches herself. They found each other online, “Sex with a Twist.” As he steps inside, she asks, “Where’s your twin?” They’ve agreed to do a threesome.
“No worries.” He takes off his jacket and reveals a small head grinning on his shoulder.
Evelyn goes to bed, a short-lived luxury because she has to get up in four hours to go to a third job. A relentless routine that grinds her down. She wishes to sleep for two days straight; a wish that’s granted. Endless dreams of being chased are wearing on her.
Undeterred from lacking funds, the four friends create their version of a CrossFit program, which they claim requires more sweat and guts. The challenge involves archery and lots of movement.
Used to being the point man, Derek harnesses onto his back the archery target with his friends in hot pursuit.
Although poor, the four friends still have fun. With a six-pack, a deserted parking lot lit by a full moon, a radio, and a dart board game, they have created a makeshift outdoor pub.
“My turn tonight,” Derek says, as he straps the dartboard onto his butt and stoops over.