humor

Quote Challenged

/ Karina Pinella / 8 Comments

Thank you kindly, vcreationss, for nominating me for the Quote Challenge. Because I’ve already done this challenge, I’m doing something a little different. Three of the attributions below are fictional, while one is not. Your mission is to determine how quote challenged I am. Which one is quoted by another? The answer is at the bottom of the post.

“Happiness is a warm gum.”
— Comedian George Burns in his nineties

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

“Forget putting my face on the $20 bill. Just put it in my pocket.”
— a working stiff with shallow pockets

Image: Pixabay

Image: Pixabay

“We can’t make people change, but we can ask them for spare change.”
— the NYC naked cowboy
cowboy

“Spread the table with good-looking food and no one will notice you left out the salt.”
— Julia Child
foodie

 

 Answer: A working stiff (who happens to be an office colleague)

Me and the Pokey Pigs (Version 1)

/ Karina Pinella / 17 Comments
Image by Blogetta

Image by Blogetta

The two long-time friends were just chillin’. Not a worry in the world. They were pig-headed about that. Once they set their minds to lounge, then lounge they would. They didn’t see any reason to run when the rangy man walked toward them with a hammer. Now they find themselves grillin’ on a hot bed.

Flash forward to a day at the park. This is the life. A sunny day and the sweet smell of charcoal wafting through the air. Just hangin’ out with a bangin’ crowd. A great summer start.
————————————————————-

pigheads

Me and Mr. Pokey Pig (Version 2: a six-word story)

Just chillin’; this is the life.

Oops Brief: Surprise Agenda

/ Karina Pinella / 14 Comments
allergy related accident

Image: Pixabay

The boardroom is full today because the company’s former Chairman, Mr. Ralph Finley, is in attendance to make a special endowment to the R&D group, among others. Twenty people sit around the rectangular conference table, all waiting for Mr. Finley, who is having a coughing fit. In between blowing his nose, he mutters to them, “Allergies, I forgot to take something for them today.” The people murmur their understanding. Suddenly, Mr. Finley sneezes so hard, his dentures fly out of his mouth and clatter on the table. For a moment, no one seems to breathe; the only sound is the clacking of teeth.

Oops Brief: The Crush

/ Karina Pinella / 18 Comments

crashed due to office crush

Mike steps outside of his glass-walled office to retrieve his report from the printer, which is located across from his enclosure. As he heads back to his door, he glances to the right and sees Lindsay, his office crush, talking to one of the new Account Managers. He becomes jealous, gets distracted and crashes into the transparent doorway. He staggers back, dazed. When he opens his eyes, he sees his crush and the new guy staring at him, seeming concerned.

The Yikes File: The Screamer

/ Karina Pinella / 13 Comments
creepy crawler

Image: Pixabay

“Barney!” Betsy screams, paralyzed by the sight of the eight-legged creature that appears to peer at her from the bathroom corner.

Betsy’s husband, Barney, runs inside the bathroom, where his wife is naked and dripping from getting out of the shower.

“I’m too afraid to get my towel. That thing is too close. Help!” Betsy screeches while rubbing her arms.

Barney is still eyeing Betsy. As a newlywed, he’s still in awe of how lucky he is to be married to such a voluptuous beauty. He quickly forgets why he was summoned. He strides over to Betsy, picks her up, and beds her down.

Caught off guard, but pleasantly so, Betsy too forgets about the spider, as they romp around the bed. As she closes into the moment of no return, her eyes flutter open and catch the dangling spider from the ceiling. She screams as if there is no tomorrow.

[Inspired by Lynn Thaler’s blog: Random Life Thoughts: Morning Visitor]

Escapee

/ Karina Pinella / 11 Comments

I escaped the confines of Hairific
For I never got a chance to tell my story.
I think I deserve my fair share of sympathy.
My hair is reedy and flat;
You could say a close cousin to a doormat.
Searching for the right mousse is always a quest.
So hard to look my best.

So – do I get a groaner?

Hairific: Fried Day

/ Karina Pinella / 10 Comments
TGIF

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 5, see Day 4

 [Poetry dominates short story]          

A man known as Cowlick comes out of the one restroom and raises his voice, “There’s no fire. I, uh, I lit a match because . . . to freshen the air. . .” He scowls at the woman known as Singed, who stands close to the restroom, speaking directly to her. “I didn’t know we have a human smoke detector.”
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Hairific: Turban Thursday

/ Karina Pinella / 5 Comments
a series of bad haircuts

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 4; see Day 3

[Poetic short story]

 Her real name is Theresa and she hides what’s left of her hair under a turban. She sizes the group around her, trying to still her nerves. Maddie nods her head as a cue. She introduces herself, “Hello, my name is Shorned Locks. My desire to be festive got the better of me. It started three weeks ago and came to a head yesterday . . . which is why I’m here today.” She clears her throat for all to hear her sad monologue:

“On St. Patrick’s Day I dyed the ends of my hair green to be in the spirit of things. Alas, I botched it as the shade didn’t have the right sheen. Thus, I went to get my hair cut, which looked like a thatched hut. I had asked for layers to replace my blunt look. Instead, I resembled a beast from a wild nature book.
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Hairific: Wiggy Wednesday

/ Karina Pinella / 13 Comments
wigging out

Image: Pixabay

A Series of Ludicrously Bad Hair Days, Day 3; see Day 2

[Poetry mashed with a short story]

Rebecca, who is known in their circle as Thin Hair, and Harry, who we know is False Hairy, find a coffee shop near the place of group therapy. They eye each other hungrily, as they feel the heat emanate from their respective chemistries.

“False Hairy, I hope you won’t think me forward, but as an older woman, I tend to get straight to the point. You make my heart beat as I gaze at your face so sweet.”
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