Hamstring Blues

Image: Pixabay

Got me a banjo made of bones,

Strummed the strings

Gouged from your hammy gams

To wail my song of woe.

My heart’s been hamstrung by you;

Can’t blame me for tossing you in the Bayou.

Loose Screw

Image: Pixabay

They are so miserly, they usually breakfast on moldy bread topped with moldy cheese. Expiration dates on products mean nothing to them. Comfortable with their pace of consumption, they want for nothing. Their brood follows the same values, as they continue to proliferate. They come from a long line of hardy stock. Next time you run into one of them, you might either scream or stomp on their hard shells. Cockroaches are fast though, so be prepared to chase them for months until they leave you unscrewed.

This-is-My-Genre-Tell-Me-Yours Book Tag

I’ve been tagged by the ever-playful duo at Bookidote to do 

It’s a fairly new tag, created last October by blogger, The Tattooed Book Geek.  Although the rules listed below are simple, I’m making it even simpler by openly inviting everyone to join in this book tag.

THE RULES:

  • Credit Drew @ TheTattooedBookGeek as the creator of the tag, use the created tag name graphic, or create your own, and link back to his blog.
  • Answer the questions.
  • Tag as many people as you want.
  1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE GENRE?
    I’m compelled to name two genres — thrillers and horror are what I read most these days. I don’t like using the word “favorite” because I also enjoy reading other genres. If I hadn’t read most of Ray Bradbury’s or Isaac Asimov’s books, I would say science fiction. Of course, there are many other good, contemporary science fiction writers out there too. (Besides science fiction, there were other years when I read mostly romance and then satirical fiction. I would go through periods of exhausting certain genres.) But, to keep this simple and easy, I’ve chosen the two genres I read the most, although I admit horror has remained a consistent favorite throughout my life.

  1. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR FROM THE GENRE?
    I have too many authors I read and like. However, to keep it simple, I’ve shown below book titles by a thriller writer and a horror writer that come to mind right now. They are just two of my many “favorite” ones!

  1. WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE GENRE THAT KEEPS PULLING YOU BACK?
    The images, action, story lines that thrill, chill, and fill me with adrenaline.

  1. WHAT’S THE BOOK THAT STARTED YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR FAVORITE GENRE?
    Another tough one. So many of them. I’ll say that after reading so many horror books by various writers, I feel as if I’ve exhausted the library’s collection, so then I ventured toward thrillers. I’ve presented below the book titles that I remember reading decades ago.

    5. IF YOU HAD TO RECOMMEND AT LEAST ONE BOOK FROM YOUR FAVORITE GENRE TO A NON-READER/SOMEONE LOOKING TO START READING THAT GENRE, WHAT BOOK WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WHY?
    I highly recommend the book titles shown below if you want to appreciate the thriller and horror genres.

    6. WHY DO YOU READ?
    I enjoy stories that suspend reality, enthrall, and entertain me. There are good storytellers out there, some with better writing skills than others, but the story lines are key. And I like to think that reading good writing will help make me a better writer, too.  I invite you to open the door to reading. You’ll be glad you did!

Oops Brief: The Chicken Takes Wing

Image: Pixabay

Kelly and her co-workers take their boss out to lunch to celebrate National Boss Lunch Day. They all like their boss, who is a generous and fair man. Each of them goes around the table to say a little something about their boss and toast him. Kelly happens to sit next to the man, so she turns toward him when her turn comes around.

Enthusiastic and nervous, she barely swallows the chunk of chicken she’s been chewing. As she simultaneously chortles, raises her glass, and says, “To the best boss ever,” tiny bits of meat fly out of her mouth and land on her boss’s glasses for all to see. To make light of the situation, he says, “Thanks, Kelly. Your delivery is spot on.”

The Accident

Image: Pixabay

Vera loves wearing sandals, enjoying the variety of style from simple flip-flops to high-heeled, open-toe gladiators. One day, as she walks through a spring art exhibit, a big elephant statue fell from its perch onto her big toe. The surprise, the pain, the astonishment. Since then, she’s never been the same.

Every day, she seems to slump more, as if shrinking in stature, until one morning, she barely makes it out of  bed. Her whole body is dragging on the floor. Then, out of nowhere a little creature crawls out of her big toe and collapses. Known to its family as Tetra 12, the ant-sized being is ancient and, sadly, its existence is soon ending.

Empathy for the Bedeviled

Image: Pixabay

A 6 by 8 compartment,
Surrounded by cement,
Every waking hour a lament,
Along with piss and excrement.

Day in, day out;
No sense of what’s about,
Only constant self-doubt
And gradual fade-out.

A seeming endless descent
Spiraling like a coiled serpent
Filled with malcontent,
Doing time in solitary confinement.

Family Blend Trend

Image: Pixabay

Yours, mine, ours,
Or theirs?
Too many sets of kin—
One from Stetson,
Another from Berlin.
But, what about Aunt Lynn?
Is she mine or yours?
Neither,
Just a freeloading stranger.

Stay Attuned by Voyancé

Image: Pixabay

The infamous Claire Vo Yancy aka Voyancé, Fate’s daughter, stopped by to give us a glimpse of the future. She’s mostly attuned to entertainment and technology. Let’s see what’s in store for us . . .

Voyancé: With reality shows being such a big part of entertainment, we will see more such shows targeting ever more specific audiences. Right now we have reality shows geared to dating and finding that right person, such as Are You the One?, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette. One of the shows I see on the horizon is called Are You the Last One?  This program is geared for those over 80 years old. Six elderly couples will try to figure out their final match.

Another one is a game called It Said, They Said, where half of the contestants are channeling an inanimate object. For example, one of them would try to express what a chair might say if given the chance. It’s going to be an exciting breakthrough for those who have always felt they were born to be a tchotchke. What I don’t know is whether the Supreme Court will sanction special restrooms built for them.

Meanwhile, we’re going to find greater transparency in a new reality show called The Capital Grill, which is a day in the life of our President. We will get to vote on who sits on the hot seat alongside the President toward the end of the show. It promises to be as big as The Voice.

As for technology, I see a new product coming called iAm, which is a robotic clone of the owner. It’s a stand-in for when you cannot or don’t want to attend a function, like a certain holiday party, but your presence is considered important. An iAm would allow you to be represented by a reasonable facsimile. It’s like astral traveling except people can see you.

Interviewer:  Thank you for sharing with us what we can expect. Do you have any last words?

Voyancé: One more show I almost forgot. It happens to be my favorite one. I can hardly wait for this. It’s called The Biggest Whiner. And it’s going to be great, big time. I’ll let you figure out what that could be about. Thanks for having me.